A friend of mine sent me an article on transracial adoption. She and her husband are white and they have adopted two black daughters. Since I have a husband who is Indian and a son who is biracial, this friend and I talk about our lives in transracial families.

The article focused on the fact that strangers will approach the family, sometimes, and ask questions to figure you out. For some families, it's offensive because it comes across as rude (which is unacceptable if that's the intention of the question) or intrusive.

Here's my take.

Sudhagar gets asked a lot if he's from India (he's from Malaysia) and he has never been off-put by someone's curiosity. It provides an opening for conversation to occur, so in that way it cannot be negative. People will sometimes ask what race Xavier is and I actually get excited because I get to talk about how Sudhagar and I came together, too. On the flip side, the last time I went to Malaysia, people wanted to take my picture because I was white. That was actually kind of fun for me, and gave me the opportunity to meet people and talk.

The article's author suggests that transracial families move into a diverse community so that the children feel more secure. To me, that idea comes off as superficial, because how will you decide which communities are diverse? Based on how people look on the outside? Any community is diverse because the people in them come from different upbringings and had different experiences.

Sudhagar and I have not sought out Indian groups to join because it's not the main criteria for us. We choose friends who love us. And the biggest thing that you can do for your family is to develop loving relationships regardless of what people look like on the outside.

Click here to read the article.